When my clinician told me that I was going through a phenomenon called retraumatization, something clicked in my brain. It was a satisfying, crisp sound - a little bleak as far as eureka moments go but I suppose that's basically just character development. Every appointment since then I've learnt a bit more about myself and man, … Continue reading Trauma is a scary word & other reflections
Month: December 2015
Short note: Jihad
The world wants Muslims to distance themselves from jihad. To legitimize our claims of being a peaceful religion, to be more authentic in our self-moderation. Something like that, anyway. And yet, how can I distance myself from jihad when I declare jihad every single day? I declare jihad when I decide to smile at someone … Continue reading Short note: Jihad
But sometimes your tongue is so laden with all the ways you can phrase a sentence that you end up swollen and heavy-jowled, and all that comes from your lips are disjointed words interjected with hesitation and insecurity. You sit down, red, and pretend you aren't being stared at by people who're wondering what the hell you're doing there; you pretend you aren't pretending those people are staring at you because it's much easier to displace the responsibility of criticism than admit you hate some aspect of your identity.