Sometimes you’ve got to sit back and reflect on all the things that are hurting you, mentally and physically, and try and cut down the excess baggage. There’s only so much a person can do, depending on their capacity, and any more than that will sooner or later implode in your face.
Unfortunately, I have not yet allowed myself to feel the relief of having the luxury of not caring.
I’m trying to learn, though, but it keeps getting trumped by the nagging voice at the back of my head whispering words of demoralization and inevitable failure if I so much as let myself breathe.
Maybe I should allow myself to fall off a precipice just for the thrill and enjoyment, then parachute back to working. It’ll help.
But still. I miss rest.
Neiha Lasharie 
Know how ya feel there, hon.