Sometimes I get so overwhelmed with need for Boston. I can’t sleep, even though I’m fatigued, I can’t rest though I need rest. I’m just reinforced with this desire, this all-encompassing motivation to do something, anything that will make me feel as if I’ve secured that part of my future.
The fact that I’ve seen Boston for myself – seen BU for myself – makes that craving all the more potent and urgent. I’m at that point where I every breath I take is for that one point. Just like last year. But that doesn’t make the feeling seem…old, or boring, it makes it even more exciting and promising because this is it. This time, there is no compromise. This time everything, EVERYTHING, is for college, is for my future, everything I do has a direct effect. And that prospect is thrilling, rather than daunting. It’s invigorating, rather than exhausting. It affirms everything.
I absolutely cannot wait and literally dreaming about that perfect future I want so desperately doesn’t make it any easier either.
It sucks that I have to wait. But I’ll do it.